When I came back from Houston in September last year, I felt broken. Mind you, the experience was amazing career-wise and leisure-wise. However, while I was away, I noticed a lot of things that weren’t going right in my life. And that main problem had to do with the state of my relationship. The day before I left for Houston, my ex and I got into a fight. While I was there, we just weren’t on good terms. And then I started to face problems dealing with my business partners as well.
The day before I was to return to work, I thought about how much I wanted to drink my problems away, and instantly noted how troubling and dangerous that thought was. I knew I needed help and instantly. The professional kind. I needed therapy.
Background
Now I’ve done therapy before, but I found that I had so-so success with therapists in Trinidad. My first therapist seemed to have trust issues that didn’t gel well with me. To this day, if I see her in public, I try to duck and hide, because I still feel uncomfortable! The second was my relationship counsellor. Now while I had a much better experience with her, I just didn’t want to go back to her. I needed something that was more instant and on hand whenever I needed it. And it would have been nice to work with someone from abroad instead. Enter online therapy.
I’ve already noted before that we live in the era of smartphones. We can do almost everything from our smartphone at the tap of an app. In that light, I believe that we should embrace the sophistication of this era, and not to mention conveniences, to the fullest. So when I started searching the topic of online therapy, I was pleased to find options that included mobile apps making convenient treatment ‘on-the-go’ a reality. While there were many options, in the end, I settled on Talkspace.
Getting started
The nice thing with Talkspace was that I got started talking with someone right away. This first person was responsible for matching me with a therapist who would be best suited to dealing with my issues. She asked me what was bothering me, and asked further questions to figure out my main problem areas that I would like the therapy to address.
After the initial conversation, she told me how Talkspace worked. Basically, Talkspace is primarily a text-based system, where you communicate one on one with your therapist in a private chat room. You can also communicate with voice notes, as well as communicate with your therapist via video chats. However, adding on video chat comes at an additional cost. The therapist will usually check for new messages twice in the day, so I was told to not expect immediate responses. That was fine to me, I figured.
I was given a voucher to try the first month of Talkspace at a reduced rate. When I paid, I then waited a day to be matched with a therapist. The therapist I eventually was matched with was experienced in dealing with depression, anxiety, self-esteem issues, and relationship problems, all things which I was currently experiencing trouble with.
The initial conversation with my therapist was more of a ‘getting to know each other’ kind of thing. Because I expressed the suicidal thoughts I was having at the time, the first goal was to create a safety plan, which I had to share with her. This safety plan contained warning signs I should take note of when I started feeling distressed, so that I could take action and get help. It also contained some ideas of coping skills that I could use in the moment, as well as emergency contact information and local numbers that I could get in touch with if I felt like harming myself. Talkspace recommends that if anyone is in a life-threatening situation – such as on the verge of committing suicide – that they get in contact with local professional help instead, and not use the site. So that’s why the safety plan was crucial. After that was done, we started getting into my initial problems.
The results
Its now been been seven months since I started working with my therapist, and I have to say that I’m so grateful to her. When I started I was panicked, overcome with worry, and suicidal. Now I feel like my self-esteem has improved, and I feel a lot calmer. She made me feel listened to and validated, which are very important traits required of a therapist. That made me feel like she really is on my side and not just saying things. When we don’t agree about certain things, she would let me know why she didn’t agree but in a kind way. She would additionally recommend reading material that would shed light on some issues that I faced difficulty with. If I’m not doing things or not keeping on track, she would question me about it and hold me accountable to my goals. She in fact helped me to build the courage to go after my main goals this year after a lot of self-doubt on my part.
My final thoughts on online therapy
I love online therapy because of its convenience. I also feel like I’m freer and more comfortable discussing what’s on my mind and what’s bothering me. Using Talkspace has been very natural for me. It’s like Whatsapp but talking to your therapist. I also prefer it because I’m naturally good at communicating through writing rather than through speaking. I get to think about what I want to say to her and edit myself accordingly. When I speak, sometimes I fumble my words or can’t think coherently. So, in essence, I feel like this type of therapy was made for me. I have to say that the greatest testament to this method is that seven months has been the longest time that I’ve ‘seen’ a therapist for.
What did you think about what I had to say? Think you’ll give online therapy a chance? Or do you prefer in-person therapy? Or perhaps you have more questions about my experience? Let me know in the comments below!
Update: Talkspace has a referral programme, where if you decide to sign up to Talkspace through my referral link, you and I both get $50 off for one month! Interested? Then click here to access your $50 off!
