In January of this year, I booked a trip to Aruba and Curaçao. It was a bit of a birthday present to myself, as I was leaving the day after my birthday. It was also going to be a solo trip. A friend of mine was supposed to go with me, but then wasn’t able to come with me after all. So I decided no harm done; I’ll just go by myself. I credit my late aunt for my love of solo trips and adventures.
I decided it was also a good time to test out the Passport feature of Tinder. Not only would it have been fun to date some locals there, but it would have also been nice to get a free tour guide as well! So I tried my luck, and what do you know, I got a couple of matches. It was time to chat.
The Lawyer
One of the guys from Curaçao that I ended up talking to seemed pretty nice. He was a lawyer working on the island, and had a look that was very easy on the eyes. He knew from my profile that I played the piano, so he opened by telling me that he was just playing the guitar with his cousin. He suggested that if we got to meet, it would be nice to do a jam session together. I smiled, quite liking the idea.
Some time passed, and about two weeks before I was due to arrive, I messaged him, reminding him that I was coming soon. Unfortunately, it turned out that he was going to fly out to the Netherlands around the same time that I was going to be there. I felt disappointed. This ‘free tour guide’ thing was already not panning out in the way that I hoped, as none of the other matches were as appealing or as communicative as this guy. He then suggested that I could meet up with his cousin instead. I hesitated, not sure I was liking the new change of plans. Why would I meet someone who doesn’t even know I exist? But nevertheless, I told him that I didn’t mind. He gave me his name to find him on Facebook, but when I tried it there were too many options. I threw my hands up in the air and decided not to bother.
My Arrival
Fast forward to the day that I arrived on the island. I was really excited about the place that I was going to stay in. It was a beautiful historic townhouse right in the city of Willemstad in the Pietermaai district. I’d dreamed of going back to Curaçao ever since I went there in my teens. It was my father’s birthplace. He didn’t live there long, but nevertheless, he was from there, and I thus feel a strong connection to the place. I was in love with the architecture, and of course the famous Handelskade, those pretty, pastel-coloured row of buildings lining the edge of Punda that meets St. Anna Bay.
Handelskade, the stunning skyline in Willemstad, Curaçao
My host picks me up. He’s a gorgeous, charming, greying guy from Denmark who confessed that he moved there for an ex-lover. “It’s always an ex-boyfriend,” he told me during the drive, his blue eyes twinkling. He took me for a drive around the neighbourhood where I would be staying, showing me some of the popular spots at night. I was especially intrigued by one of them that was called Saint Tropez, which turned out to be just as posh as the inspiration for its name, I would later learn. He also showed me some places that I could go to to learn how to scuba dive. Mind you, I showed up to the island with no planned activities at all, so I was really grateful to my host for giving me some ideas of things to do.
Anyway, he drops me off at my lovely apartment, hands me the keys and leaves. The first order of business of course was to connect to the wifi. The second was to share more pictures of my arrival on Facebook. Eventually, I went back on Tinder to tell the lawyer that I was there.
He didn’t take long to reply. “Great! You should meet up with my cousin!” Upon his insistence, I decide what the hell, why not. This time, I ask for his cousin’s number. I also asked him to let his cousin know that I would be contacting him soon. I can’t just message the guy out of the blue; that would be weird.
Talking to the cousin
I send a message to his cousin, letting him know who I was, how I was visiting on the island, and that if he was up for it, we could meet up and perhaps play some music together. Then I got up, and it was time to go explore the island.
When I came back to the apartment, I saw that he replied. His cousin (the lawyer) told him about me, and he was eager to meet me. It turned out that he was staying in a building literally less than a minute’s walking distance away from me. As we talked, I found out that he also played the piano. He however didn’t own one, so we would have had to find a piano to play if we wanted to play together. We also traded pictures as per my request. He looked very friendly. Maybe not as handsome as his cousin, but also attractive. After a couple more minutes texting back and forth, he then said that he was going out, and I said me too. He said perhaps by the time he came back, we could meet up. In hindsight, meeting up late in the night is kind of weird, especially if you’re now meeting someone for the first time. But I was feeling very free-spirited, so I agreed.
Attempting, but failing, to meet
Needless to say, we didn’t meet that night after I came back from Saint Tropez. The next day, he invited me out to the beach, where he was going with some friends. However, I had already made plans, and politely declined, suggesting that we could probably meet up when I got back. I was going to attempt driving around the island that day, which isn’t exactly daunting except for the fact that people in Curaçao drive on the right side of the road, while I’m accustomed driving on the left back home. It actually was a very awesome experience, mind you. I visited the Hato caves, the Ostrich Farm, where I got a cool picture feeding the ostriches and standing on an ostrich egg, and had dinner at an awesome Brazilian steakhouse at the end of my day trip.
Feeding the ostriches at the farm. They weren’t going to bite me!
When I came home, I let him know that I was back, but got no immediate reply. Instead, I went out again that night with the car to a club on one of the beaches. I was craving the nightlife experience and a fun night out dancing, and the place was recommended by a cute bartender at Saint Tropez the night before. It didn’t disappoint, but the only downside was the number of ‘younger adults’ at the party. At some point I called it quits and left.
Meeting the cousin
The next day I was due to return the car. That morning, I went to get some breakfast at Pleincafe Wilhelmina, which was my favourite eating place there. There was wifi there, so I messaged the cousin to find out how he was doing, and what his plans would be that day. He then told me that he was leaving that day to go to Colombia for a week, and that we could probably meet when he gets back. I’m confused. I tell him that I’m leaving the next day. Now he’s confused. He apparently thought that I was a tenant at the apartment, and therefore staying longer on the island. He seems disappointed, and actually, so am I. He said that I seemed like a nice person to get to know. I then suggest that I could meet him before he leaves, possibly for an hour, as I had to drop off the car by a certain time. He agrees, and says that he’ll make coffee for us.
So I pay my bill and walk back in the direction of my apartment, stopping short of the way when I reached his building. I let him know that I’m outside. I’m somewhat nervous as I wait for him. In any case, the whole thing was so spontaneous, so it didn’t give me that much time to become extremely nervous. He comes down to meet me. He looks just like the pictures that he showed me on the first day of chatting: slim build, fair-skinned, Middle Eastern, great smile. We say hi and shake hands. He invites me inside, and we go through the courtyard of the apartment complex, then up some stairs to his place. I sit down in his living room as he get the cups of coffee for us. Music is playing from his laptop. I think it may have been jazz, or just something light and chill.
He returns and sits down on the chair facing me. We then just talk about various things: where we’re both from, our musical background and piano training, our travels, our similar-ish careers (me a geoscientist, him a geomechanical engineer), his divorce, books we read about relationships, and our thoughts on being single. I share some videos of my performances with him, and he seems very impressed by my talents. He shared that he was once coming to work in Trinidad for three years, but his wife didn’t want him to at the time. Our conversation is flowing and full of ease, and I’m painfully aware of the time ticking away. I didn’t expect to like his company. He also seemed disappointed that we would only be meeting for a short time. He kept bringing it up. Maybe a good sign.
At some point I remember that I have to return to the car to my host, and then ask if he would like to accompany me. He agrees to come along. As I’m driving, I tell him how it’s my first time driving on the right. He’s surprised, because he finds I’m doing a good job. That compliment made me feel good. I don’t know if he was just pulling my leg, but I’d like to think that he was sincere. We drop off the car and he again compliments my driving to my host. Maybe another good sign. While I was there, I ask the host about the scuba diving class that he recommended, so he makes a call to the school and then informs me that I could come for a session on the same day. However, I would have to reach by midday, which was about an hour away. We then make our way back to his apartment, walking and talking.
When we return, he makes some tea. It turns out we both prefer tea to coffee. As we sit down to enjoy our tea, he gets a call from the friend that he’s going to Colombia with. It turns out that he’ll have to leave a bit earlier than planned. Suddenly, this wave of sadness overcomes me. It felt like I was losing a friend, or maybe more. I didn’t imagine that our little spontaneous meet-up would go so well, but it did, and I actually liked him. We continue talking, but I start to become more aware of the time. I have to go back to my apartment to change for my scuba diving session, and he has to get ready to go to the airport. We try to make the best of the window of time we have left, but I’m starting to pull back a bit, perhaps to protect myself.
Saying goodbye
Finally, it’s time for us to part. We head down the stairs and out through the front gate. We’re standing by the side of the road. I’m trying to read the situation. What’s going to happen? Will he perhaps try to kiss me(!!!)? Sadly, no, but we hug instead. I try to not hug him too tightly in the odd chance that it might reveal any feelings that I had in the moment. I walk away from him and back to my apartment, but the sadness in my heart is building.
As soon as I get inside, I tell some friends about what just happened. As I’m sharing my feelings, I get a message from him. My heart skips a beat. “Hey Rezzie, you forgot your sunglasses,” the message read. I’m shocked at first that I could do such a thing, but then I wonder, maybe it’s an opportunity for something to happen this time.
So I change quickly and rush back to his apartment, where he’s waiting outside. I apologise for leaving them there, and also apologise for keeping him back when he had to go to the airport. He says no problem. We say goodbye again. I consider kissing him on his cheek, but I decide not to for fear of rejection in case I misread the signs. So we hug, this time maybe a little tighter and longer than the first one. And then we go our separate ways.
The (Disappointing) Aftermath
I messaged him a few times afterwards, and he seemed happy to hear from me. I really thought that he was interested in me, but he perhaps wasn’t as interested as I thought, or at all. The last time I wrote him he said that he would message me later and didn’t, the same way that he said that he would add me as a friend on Facebook but didn’t. Ultimately, I decided to delete his number and forget about the whole thing. Maybe it was just a case of realising that it wouldn’t have worked out between us, so he lost interest. Or maybe it really was just all in my head. I also eventually unmatched his cousin on Tinder, because there wasn’t any connection there either.
Regardless, I know I will find that ‘spark’ again with someone else. I’m sure that the next time it does, there will be no doubt that it is for real.
